When a child is upset, the instinct to rescue them is natural, but staying steady through their distress (without dismissing it or panicking alongside them) teaches something rescuing can't: that hard feelings are manageable. Research shows that parents' responses to children's negative emotions play a central role in shaping self-regulation, and that emotion coaching, staying present and validating rather than dismissing or rushing to fix, predicts fewer behavior problems and stronger peer relationships.

Here's what you can share with parents in your next visit:

• Calm is protective: Studies show that when parents can limit their own visible distress in reaction to a child's, the negative impact on the child's adjustment is reduced.
• Dismissing backfires: Parents who treat negative emotions as unimportant or something to avoid tend to see poorer emotion regulation in their kids over time.
• It's a buffer, not a fix-all: Even when other conditions aren't ideal, an emotion-coaching approach has been shown to protect children against emotional dysregulation. 

Remind parents: staying present through a hard moment, rather than rushing to end it, is what teaches a child they can get through hard things. They can also try simple statements like, “we know how to do hard things in this family,” or “together, we can solve any tough problem.”